God has truly blessed me. Last week was just supposed to be a regular week but turned out to be a really great yet busy week for me. I applied for an internship over a month ago and last monday the woman from the internship called me and told me she wanted to hire me! I was so excited and surprised because i thought the position had been filled and i just said forget it. But she actually told me that none of the applicants proposed work was not was she was looking for but liked my Kate Spade proposal which i thought was complete shit lol.
she asked when i could start and i told her i actually wanted to start this weekend, instead i started last week. Totally turned my world upside down really quick. its so fast paced and something i wasnt used to. hopefully i get the hang of it.
still working at edible arrangements and still going to class. its kinda hurting my pockets and gas tank but im gonna work through this because i know that in the end this is gonna be great and that the outcome will be great.
Even through all this i have become very vulnerable and insecure. i havent really designed anything or have been active on photoshop or illustrator since graduation so im kind of rusty. she expected me to do something in an hour and i was freaking out. i am doing the best i can and i hope its still kept in mind that i am an intern.
ive also become very insecure when it comes to guys. havent been talking to any guys lately. and if im on Grindr recently guys have been asking “are u masc?”. ive never been asked that on there. i dont think i have a picture that makes u question it, but is that a new thing to ask? i was actually a bit offended. whether im masculine or not is really gonna make a difference in whether we are gonna talk or not. in my head guys who think like that are def gonna miss out on a lot of good people. those guys that are looking for someone who is masculine and really in shape and all this other crap its dumb. like in my head youre setting yourself up for failure. gays and their high expectations. its annoying.
but here goes another week. i wanna be strong and be better and work hard and hopefully it works.